Well, here it is mid-June and it is hot in Alabama as per usual!
I've had some MAJOR stumbling blocks placed in the path that is my life.
Damn I hate when that happens! Yet, as always, I will find my way through, over, under or around them in whatever way that I have to.
Like I have a choice!
I'm almost finished with Java programming which is the hardest class I have EVER taken in my life! It's been rough.
I'm taking a break from school so that I can focus on my job and making money that I desperately need (see previously mentioned stumbling blocks)!
I will see that things get back on track and hope that the permanent damage is minimal.
More later....8
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
My Vacation
Today is the last day of my vacation and it makes me very sad. I LOVE being on vacation from my job! This is the first week-long vacation I have had in a couple of years where we did not go out of town. We just hung around the old homestead, ran around town and did some spring cleaning! It's been great! I constantly had to fight that feeling that I needed to be doing something useful and productive otherwise I was just 'wasting my vacation'. But I just kept reminding myself that being home with my daughter and my animals and NOT being a slave to the clock or anything...IS useful and productive. I've felt more relaxed this week than I have in I can't remember when.
Today is the last day but still counting the weekend I still have 3 more days of bliss before returning to work.
I'm going to enjoy every minute of it and pray for that publisher's clearinghouse sweepstakes check to arrive in the mail!
Today is the last day but still counting the weekend I still have 3 more days of bliss before returning to work.
I'm going to enjoy every minute of it and pray for that publisher's clearinghouse sweepstakes check to arrive in the mail!
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Today!
Hello dear blog,
It's been a while and I have no excuse for not writing (well actually I do have LONG list of excuses but taking the time to write them would actually become one of them).
Time is the issue, time is our enemy and our friend. It seems that 2 things drive my live: time and money. I never seem to have enough of either of them. It's very merry-go-round feeling.
This week I'm off work for a whole week to spend my daughter's Spring Break with her. Although I see her every day it seems we are always coming, going, hurrying in and out and just 'passing in the night'. I try to have conversations with her in those precious moments in the car on the way to drop her at school each morning, but unfortunately I most often have to compete with the ipod and I almost always lose. But, as a parent I understand that and I know that sometimes something I say in my morning ramblings and question asking may spark her attention and amazingly the earbuds come out and then: SHE SPEAKS! I try to be quiet and listen because sometimes the insights of a 16-year-old girl can be very profound and of course sometimes she is asking me: can so-and-so spend the night, can you take me here/there/everywhere. But that's OK too!
I've finally developed a semi-adult relationship with my older child who is almost 26. We have mostly enjoyable adult conversations about many different things but I still assume the parent role at times by the same token he still seeks a parental point of view at times.
So about today, I did 2 things today that I've never done: I wrote my first program in pseudocode! It's a small start to being a programmer but it was actually kind of fun, figuring out the logic. So maybe I am cut out for this programming thing! Second, I opened an investment account with AmeriTrade! Yeah! I'm finally growing up!
Well, I guess that's all for now have much more to do today!
It's been a while and I have no excuse for not writing (well actually I do have LONG list of excuses but taking the time to write them would actually become one of them).
Time is the issue, time is our enemy and our friend. It seems that 2 things drive my live: time and money. I never seem to have enough of either of them. It's very merry-go-round feeling.
This week I'm off work for a whole week to spend my daughter's Spring Break with her. Although I see her every day it seems we are always coming, going, hurrying in and out and just 'passing in the night'. I try to have conversations with her in those precious moments in the car on the way to drop her at school each morning, but unfortunately I most often have to compete with the ipod and I almost always lose. But, as a parent I understand that and I know that sometimes something I say in my morning ramblings and question asking may spark her attention and amazingly the earbuds come out and then: SHE SPEAKS! I try to be quiet and listen because sometimes the insights of a 16-year-old girl can be very profound and of course sometimes she is asking me: can so-and-so spend the night, can you take me here/there/everywhere. But that's OK too!
I've finally developed a semi-adult relationship with my older child who is almost 26. We have mostly enjoyable adult conversations about many different things but I still assume the parent role at times by the same token he still seeks a parental point of view at times.
So about today, I did 2 things today that I've never done: I wrote my first program in pseudocode! It's a small start to being a programmer but it was actually kind of fun, figuring out the logic. So maybe I am cut out for this programming thing! Second, I opened an investment account with AmeriTrade! Yeah! I'm finally growing up!
Well, I guess that's all for now have much more to do today!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Reflections...
Just felt the need to post a few reflections...sometimes I am so caught up in worrying and fretting about the things that I don't have (money) and even things that I don't really need (new furniture)....I get lost in all that and forget to appreciate what I DO have....first of all my kids...I have the greatest 2 kids...both of them are kind and bright and talented....and I love them more than words can say...then my animals...I love them so much! They bring so much joy to our lives...they are like little people...members of our family! When I come home from work everyday I am greeted by 3 4-legged creatures who tell me in their own way that they love me and they are glad that I am home. The cats are a little more subtle...but my dog...she makes a grand display of it each and every day! When I come in the door I can literally count to 5 and she will be barrelling down the stairs to greet me! She is always so happy to see me! It fills my heart with a very warm feeling. We have a morning and evening routine of going outside together so she can do her 'business'. I love those times each day. In the mornings I'm usually sleepy and cold and I just want her to hurry up, but sometimes I take the time to take in the sky and the air...but in the evening I use this little slice of time to give my thanks...I see the stars in the sky and all of the statuesque trees that have been standing tall for so many years beyond my existence...I look at the glow of light in our windows and imagine my children watching their television shows, playing their video games, surfing the net, knowing that I will soon go inside and cook dinner and hopefully have at least one of those 'meaningless meaningful' conversations with at least one of them if not both...it just gives me a feeling of home...and happiness...no matter what....there's lots of negatives that I could list here...but tonight I won't...I'm blessed.
Monday, February 5, 2007
I'm old!!
My daughter, my baby, turned 16 years old today. I can remember with chilling accuracy the day she was born, her first word, first step, first friend, first boyfriend, first day of school, many, many firsts. She seems so young and innocent to be 16. I recall myself at 16 and I seemed so much older and had already learned very well how to deceive my parents. I am so blessed to have such a joy of a child! Happy Birthday Baby!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
My kids...My life
Well my daughter got her permit this week. I've always been firm about her not getting her license until I felt like she was ready. I truly believe that many, many parents want to get their kids mobile as soon as possible so they won't have to taxi them around anymore...but not me! I work in car insurance and believe me I know that car accidents are the number one killer of teenagers. I will gladly taxi her around or ride with her while she drives until I feel that she knows not only the rules of the road, but also everything to expect from all the stupid drivers out there!
My daughter has never even sat in the driver's seat of a car much less driven one. It will be a long process teaching her but we will do it together. Her 16th birthday is next month but obviously we will not be going to the DMV for a road test on that day. Our goal is for her to try for her license during the Christmas break next year. That is if she's ready! God give me calmness and patience!
Anyway, my kids are just growing up so fast. It's kind of exciting but a lot scary and somewhat depressing.
My son, although almost 26 is still a child to me. Now he's got a steady girlfriend. I'm very happy for him and I hope she doesn't hurt him. He hasn't had many steady girlfriends and a couple that he's had have hurt him. But I think this one is different.
Can I actually have hope for a grandchild in the near future? Am I even ready to hope for a grandchild? Feels kind of uncomfortable when I think about it, but then again, feels kind of exciting! Who knows!
I think we are into a transitional period and I hope I'm ready for it.
Just some thoughts I've been having lately....a couple of milestones for both of my kids!
8
My daughter has never even sat in the driver's seat of a car much less driven one. It will be a long process teaching her but we will do it together. Her 16th birthday is next month but obviously we will not be going to the DMV for a road test on that day. Our goal is for her to try for her license during the Christmas break next year. That is if she's ready! God give me calmness and patience!
Anyway, my kids are just growing up so fast. It's kind of exciting but a lot scary and somewhat depressing.
My son, although almost 26 is still a child to me. Now he's got a steady girlfriend. I'm very happy for him and I hope she doesn't hurt him. He hasn't had many steady girlfriends and a couple that he's had have hurt him. But I think this one is different.
Can I actually have hope for a grandchild in the near future? Am I even ready to hope for a grandchild? Feels kind of uncomfortable when I think about it, but then again, feels kind of exciting! Who knows!
I think we are into a transitional period and I hope I'm ready for it.
Just some thoughts I've been having lately....a couple of milestones for both of my kids!
8
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Random Poetry
Just thought I would try to write a poem...ad nauseum or whatever those latin words are for just writing it as you go...ad lib maybe...so here goes...
Today was a day of beauty
The sky was an awesome blue
When times are good, when times are bad
I still find myself thinking of you
My mood was up and cheerful
As I headed off to work
But those little voids of emptiness
Still somehow seem to lurk
What was it we couldn't figure out?
What did or did we not do?
I go round and round within my life
But still somehow wind up at you
I know it will not work
How many times we've tried!
We both have so many issues
We've wallered and we've lied!
So I've come to the conclusion
So deep my wisdom doth run
That you were only committed
When things were light and fun
Today I have realization
That I love you, this is true
But I also face the fact
That I will never have a life with you
8
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